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Files of our life.................

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  • Files of our life.................

    In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in a room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small indexcard files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "People I Have Liked". I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

    And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

    This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

    A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed". The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read", "Lies I Have Told", "Comfort I Have Given", "Jokes I Have Laughed At". Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled at My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents". I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.

    I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 30 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

    When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To", I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.

    When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts", I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

    An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

    And then I saw it.

    The title bore "People that I Have Taught About Allah". The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

    And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room.

    I must lock it up and hide the key.

  • #2
    nice sharing
    sigpicNever say “HI” instead
    say ASSALAM-O-ALAIKUM
    Never say “BYE” instead
    say “ALLAH HAFIZ”.
    Do not ignore your reality, u r MUSLIM

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    • #3
      thanks

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      • #4

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        • #5
          welcome every1..

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          • #6
            Its reality of OUR LIFE............
            Gunah Bahoth hai mere jholi me...........
            Ya-Allah Maaf kar they.... Rehmath bahoth hai tere...................
            Ameen
            Jub Dam-e-wapasi ho Ya-Allah
            Samne ho Jalwa-e-Mustafa
            Lub pe Ho
            LA ILAHA ILLALLAH MUHAMMEDOUR RASOOLULLAH

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            • #7
              jazakAllah brother a good lesson in it
              hum dosri cheezon mein itna time lagatay hein
              rab jis ne hum ko pada kiya humay her cheez se nawaza
              humay os ka haq ada karna chaeeya or appna waqat zaya nahi karna chaeeya
              bc once we are out of this world there is no door back
              at that time we will regret

              may Allah subhanwataala bring us on right path
              میں نےجو کیا وہ برا کیا،میں نے خود کو خود ہی تباہ کیا

              جو تجھے پسند ہو میرے رب،مجھے اس ادا کی تلاش ہے

              http://www.123muslim.com/discussion-...d-arround.html

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              • #8
                The most humble statement.. i m nothing without ALLAH & the most powerful statement…. wid ALLAH i can do everything.

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                • #9
                  very nice

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                  • #10
                    Its reality of OUR LIFE............
                    Gunah Bahoth hai mere jholi me...........
                    Ya-Allah Maaf kar they.... Rehmath bahoth hai tere...................
                    Ameen
                    summa aamin

                    jazakAllah brother a good lesson in it
                    hum dosri cheezon mein itna time lagatay hein
                    rab jis ne hum ko pada kiya humay her cheez se nawaza
                    humay os ka haq ada karna chaeeya or appna waqat zaya nahi karna chaeeya
                    bc once we are out of this world there is no door back
                    at that time we will regret

                    may Allah subhanwataala bring us on right path
                    aamin


                    wecome every1

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                    • #11
                      nice sharing

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